Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering
There is a crack in everything
That's how the light gets in.
I’m in third grade, and my Dad has just put me down to sleep. I’m suddenly panic stricken, as I realize that I’ve forgotten a homework assignment that’s due tomorrow morning. My perfect record, and the love that goes with it, will be lost if I don’t get out of bed and finish that assignment.
Through the tears, I beg and plead and somehow convince my Dad to let me get out of bed, so I can do what I do – maintain my illusion of perfection.
Hello, My Name is Curt
I'm a high-achiever and a recovering perfectionist. As you can see, I’ve been at it for a long time.
From a very early age, I believed that my personal value came from my intelligence and my achievements. So, over time I became addicted to being the best, hiding the rest and maintaining an illusion of perfection.
For much of my life this strategy kind of, sort of served me. I was always a straight A student and at the top of my class. I earned two doctorates and created two successful businesses.
But there was a dark downside to my driven life. My accomplishments were the only things that made me feel worthy of love and attention. So, they left me empty, unhappy and afraid that someday I’d be figured out. I was terrified that people would eventually discover that without the external victories, I was a hollow shell and unworthy of love.
I kept hoping that someday I would be so big, or rich or accomplished that I could finally relax and just be happy, satisfied and loved. But that’s not how it worked out.
Eventually the chronic mental stress of living this kind of life caught up with me.
When I finally hit rock bottom, my health had tanked and caused me to lose my dental career forever. I was divorced, financially decimated, deeply in debt, darkly depressed, dependent on alcohol, and 50 pounds too heavy.
For 6 months, I hosted a big-ass pity party for myself before I was ready to accept the truth. All of the horrible things that happened “to me” had one thing in common – Me.
I spent the few years searching for Truth. Why was I buying into the story that I had to be perfect and accomplished in order to be loved and accepted? What was my role in creating my massive fall from grace? What was I bringing to the table that left me so dissatisfied with everything in my life – no matter how good it looked or how much I achieved?
Could it be that all these horrible things happened for me - not to me?
That’s when my life took a sharp turn toward wellbeing. I began the process of understanding who I really am and how life really works. Eventually, I found my way back home and discovered who I really am – as if for the very first time.
We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time.
Today, I have everything I was hoping to get through perfectionism and accomplishment. I experience feelings of love, fulfillment, self-worth and happiness – not because of external achievement, but because I create them from the inside-out.
After all my searching, I’ve discovered a hidden variable for incredible success without the stress. I am more creative, productive and effective than I’ve ever been - without being driven or feeling the need for perfection.
Literally everything in my life has shifted. It’s as if I have a superpower. But there is nothing special about me. We all have the ability to wake up to who we really are. We all have the capacity to understand how life works. And we can all leverage our innate wellbeing like a superpower that will improve every aspect of our lives.
Today, I am grateful to do work in the world that I absolutely love and was born to do.
I sit with people and have powerful conversations that transform their life, their business, their relationships, their health. I sit with them in love and possibility. I help them come home to the Truth of who they really are. I help them see what they can’t yet see in themselves. I help them know for the very first time who they are capable of being, what they are capable of doing, and how much they are capable of having.
If you’re feeling a call to this kind of life, contact me. We’ll set up a powerful conversation that will change you and transform some aspect of your life.
Much Love, Curt Eastin